Ok...talk now, rant later.
In order to try and get anything together I got in contact with a former professor of mine that I had for DE. When I went to talk to him today he reveled in the thought of me doing "real math" and that since the first class he had me he knew education wasn't for me.
I just feel so flattered that all my teachers think I am so great. I don't think I'm the smartest student there and I'm sure I'm not. Maybe I don't give myself enough credit as a mathematician. But it feels great to be recognized and to know that these people think I can make it in the "real math world."
To be honest the whole prospect of even maybe going into the business world with a math degree is so scary. I love teaching and I feel like I am going to love working with real numbers too. If I get this internship my entire life could change and that is so incredibly scary
- Mood:
contemplative
We also have been able to manage some amazing opportunities such as: an audience with the Pope, the Scavi tour which goes into the depths of St Peters basillica (very hard to get into...only about 100 people per day can go), and an exclusive lecture with Father Reginald Foster who is a personal advisor to the Pope on the latin language. As our trip leader has written in a recent email "To say this man is famous in his field would be like saying the Pope is Catholic."
I probably wont update to here often since I don't update often enough when I am in contact with my computer 24/7. However I will post what I did and upload pictures of the trip when i get home.
So until I post again, arrivederci!!!! Ciao!!!! =D
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
ecstatic
So what's new? Not that much. Christmas was cool. I got some very awesome and cool stuff. I got a Paul Mitchell straightener(oh my god i was so shocked by that since i asked for a $70-80 straightener), a pair of boots I've been wanting, an easel from Jay so i don't have to crouch over our low coffee table to paint, and a bunch of other things. It was so nice to spend Christmas Day with Jay. I wish we could wake up to christmas together but that won't be for a while i can infer. Our parents aren't ready to let us go! heehee
Oh something new - Jay is getting a new car very very soon! He's getting a Prius and I can't wait. He's worked hard to get this job and the new car. I am so very proud of him sometimes. Sometimes I feel that he is going to be so much more successful than I will be, but I know that it's just how I see things now. Right now we need money to pay for things and his job definitely does that. My (eventual) job wont be financially rewarding but I hope that it will be satisfying to me to see students grow up and be successful and to be an important part of their life.
As a kid I never had a role model and I hope I someday can become a role model for some one else. I suppose we'll see.
But I better get back to cleaning this stinky apartment! (it doesn't really stink its only cluttered...I swear!)
- Location:Apartment
- Mood:
chipper - Music:Natalie Imbrulia - City
Tomorrow I compete in the William Putnam Mathematical Competition.
And before you say "woooow you must be smart"...I'm not. I am no where close to smart. Even more, these questions are beyond my scope of reality let alone my mathematical ability.
And guess what. It starts at 10am and goes until 6pm with a two hour break in between.
Oh an bonus....I didn't get into Cabaret. Yeah...life kinda sucks a bit right now.
I should go though so i can get my ass kicked by William Putnam's deathly torture device. (And if you're curious check out the problems found at this website )
- Mood:
pissed off
well thats a lie...I should start work on my inquiry project (just a 3-5 page paper) but the rough draft of that due until next Tuesday.
So I'm home enjoying a little quietness and I think i will do some painting...i love painting.
ahhh....this is niiiice
Oh and EMILY IS GONNA BE HERE SOOOO SOON!!! YAY!!! =) Can't wait to enjoy the 21st birthday festivities!
- Mood:
relaxed
I have been busy but it's been one of those "I could do all my homework or I could veg and relax for once" types of busyness. Either always doing work or recovering from it.
So....let me think....anything new? Oh wow...yeah. I just checked the last post and it was when Dad got hurt. Ok...so he's doing much better and financially things are not too bad. He randomly picked up additional insurance at work which covers any disability that might happen to him which covers most or all of his wages.
Also, Jay and I got a kitten for my birthday!! We finally persuaded my landlord to trust us and let us get a cat. She's adorable! She's a white pastel calico cat which we named Zipper. She's so cute. I have pictures loaded up on facebook and also webshots. Some time we will get a good video of her jumping and doing pull ups on the windows (no joke...she's gonna become a SUPER cat! =P )
Classes are going well...for the most part they are either boring me or just way too easy or just painful to be at cause the teachers suck. The semester will be over before I know it.
But I'm gonna head out for now. We are getting foods soon so I gotta get ready and stuff. I'll try and stay more on top of the posting! =)
- Mood:
silly
"Nina... There's been an accident. Daddy is in the hospital. He broke his back and he may have a concussion."
wow...really f-ing scary. I wont get into the huge details about it because most likely there is going to be some kind of court case about this but my dad was asked to come out into the pit while getting his car oil changed and he fell into the pit 6-8 feet down. His first vertebrae and three ribs are broken.
Luckily he is alright and he got out of the hospital yesterday. He has a body brace, which he will wear for about 8 weeks, and a walker and is able to move around slowly. He's a tough guy.
I just wanted to let everyone know so they know what i'm going through and not to worry if you see a very aggravated or upset away message. Its going to be a very frustrating battle our family will have to deal with. I just hope it all goes smoothly.
- Mood: thankful
Ooooo boy, I am so happy!
- Mood: ecstatic
I just need to get away from my job right now. It is a bad, stressful, painful job and they are too carefree with my "flexibility" (which i told them was 9-5, m-f only...haha.) I seriously think my tension headaches are mainly due to my job at the pharmacy. It can get so loud and stressful that my brain just goes "BLARGHIF!!" and i am dieing of pain for hours after i get out of work still.
So until 11 (when i go to work at Eckerds) I'm just going to relax and chill out. I'll make sure to post whether or not I got the job.
- Mood: hopeful
So last Friday we moved a lot of the crazy heavy and bulky stuff and then the rest of the things were left to just Jay and I to move in on Saturday. It wasn't too bad but it was definitely exausting by the time we had finished the day. It didn't help that we spent a ton of money buying stuff for the apartment too...you know how i am with spending money!
Sunday rolled along and we went to Jay's mentor's (Sean's) barbaque. It was fun but i was very tired. I definitely enjoyed my time but i was constantly plaugued by thoughts of what we need to get and do in the apartment.
Monday we all got off work so we went shopping yet again and finally got to finish more of the arranging and worked a few things out. We also got a PS 1 and a PS 2 so we could play final fantasy IX, so the entire computer group came over and watched Jay play that untill like 11:30 or so. It was really nice but a little weird having people over my apartment as apposed to my mom's house. I just feel like im hosting something rather than just having people over. I don't know...I'm just weird.
So Tuesday i got some little projects out of the way until i had to go into work. While at work i get a call from Jay telling me that we have to electricity. To clarify, we called the elec. company before hand telling them we were moving in and they wanted the meter number and crap (which we dont know). So that required our landlord who was out of town for the weekend. So they obviously just thought we didn't sign up for electricity on Tuesday so they cut us off. Hopefully we will have power by 4 o'clock today. If not, i will be extremely pissed off!!!
Also i want to note that tomorrow i get to hang out with my awesome Emily from Marist!!!! And then we get to go to NYC to rehearse and perform in Carnegie Hall!!! YAY!!!
So untill i get internet (and electricity), this will be good bye for now! =)
- Location:Home... =[
- Mood:
uncomfortable
In fact...not only have a gotten through it...I'm passing with flying colors it seems. i don't have the official grade but im about 99% certain i have an A in the class. My other classes I ended up getting an A in my Exceptional Child class (which is what i thought), and an A- in boith my Adolescent Psychology and my Differential Equations classes!!! I swear to you i was expecting no more than a B or B+ in my Adol Psych class and i kinda bombed one test with Diffy Q's so i thought i was gonna get a B+ or so. It was by far my hardest semester thus far, but i am definitely happy with it and I know that I've learned a lot from it too (and im glad my grades reflect that as well!!)
So this semester i got 4 A's (two one credit classes) and 2 A-'s! WOW!!!! =D
So far working at Eckerd's still sucks and I'm trying to get "internships" with Marist or Dutchess County offices so i don't have to work full time there. It's just total bullshit half the time and the pharmacist is pompous, rude, mean, and is borderline insane. So i would deal with less stress, physically less demanding, and to top....I would be getting paid the same or more than at Eckerd's! I call that a good deal.
Plus, to fill in time here and there I am hopefully going to be tutoring some students over the summer. I have one student already that needs help and although I haven't taken the class (modern/classical excursions) I should be fine in it. I mean the pre-requisite is 3 math courses in high school for god's sake!
Oh anmd last but not least - Jay and i get to move into the apartment soon!!! The latest will be May 26th so im pretty psyched for it. I got a free bed and dresser from an awesome friend of mine and we have some cool stuff to move in and Im just so excited! I can't wait to decorate the house and to have my friends over and stuff.
But right now im gonna head to bed because tomorrow Jay officially graduates from college! Luckily he's still stickin' around for the master's so he can be with me! ;)
- Mood: satisfied with life
I am really excited for this summer to come along. Last night as i was trying desperately to fall asleep as quickly as possible i thought "I would really love to do another multi-colored self portrait like the one i did in my painting class." And then i thought "why can't i?"
Since i am not going to be doing any classes this summer, I am going to have a lot of free time to do whatever i wish. I haven't been this free to do stuff in the longest time. So I really hope to do a few paintings at my own pace. I have an idea for the acrylic self portrait. I would really like to do some self observation and develop something that is completely me. Just something that comes to me in time. Its going to be interesting what comes out of me. I haven't really let myself free artistically and although i don't have tons of experience and talent, I'm really looking forward to it.
What's awesome is that I'm going to be living in my own apartment, with the one person i love most, doing what i enjoy. Its going to be an amazing experience. Hopefully this summer will give me a kind of preview of what its going to be like after i graduate. That is when i don't have classes at all sorts of times in the day.
I deserve a good summer and i think this one is going to be one of the more pleasurable ones I've had in a while. I really want to go to the shore with Jay for an extended weekend at some point and i also want to schedule some camping with the HP group. I'm just excited to be on my own, doing what i want, doing what i wish, and just being able to enjoy things. I haven't been able to just purely enjoy myself in a long time.
I'm really excited...but i should start studying for my Adolescent Development test tomorrow. I'm going to need it!
- Mood: relaxed (for once!)
- Music:The Format - Snails
It seems that everytime i get stressed out on a particular subject I have nightmares about it. The first time i remember it happening was when i did taught myself how to do customer service at Toys R Us one day. that night i had crazy non-linear nightmares of unhappy customers and such. By non-linear i mean i would do something to fix a problem and it just wouldnt work. It should but this hellish world im in just manipulates it so that it is constantly wrong.
i am getting it now with Except child and i figure ill have nightmares tonight about Adol Dev (i have a test tomorrow). Its just really strange and i wonder why my head does this in times of stress because it doesnt calm me down, makes me sleep horribly, and over all i am in a state of distress.
Just wanted to fill you in....now time to do more except child/adol dev stuff....yaaaaaaaay
- Mood: crappy
I think I'm going to die soon. I dont know how i can manage to get this all done...im about to fall apart. I really am.
I have my resource manual that i think is not going well...i feel like im rewriting the book. I have a TOOOON of reading for Adol Dev. Have to finish the book for Ethics. Diffy Q's homework.
I also have KOTB tomorrow (which i havent gone over lines for), work sat, quiz wednesday, test in adol dev next friday, film review for ethics, the final paper for ethics and adol dev due soon.
I dont know how i am going to manage this overload of work, work at eckerds, my life, my apartment, my tests, and everything else right now. There is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this work plus eat, rehearse, work for money, study and do everything else. I dont know how im going to manage this. I'm falling apart....quickly!
- Mood:
frustrated/exausted/crazy/dead/etc
I slept shoddy last night. I really need decent sleep. I also found out i didn't get another solo with Chris. I'm beginning to feel like he doesnt like me anymore or something. Its so frustrating.
I've been so negatively lately and i can't help it. I was fine over break for the most part because there isn't as much pressure but now that im at school I just am overwhelmed by the things i need to do. I feel stupid and fat and worthless and lazy. Plus my job is asking me to give more time in right at the time when i need it the most.
Gah i don't know what to do sometimes. I think this week I'm going to need to lock myself in my room or at the library so i can get all this work done. Unfortunatly all the work extends all the way untill finals.
Its going to be a long 3-4 weeks ahead of me...
- Mood: frustrated
Sorry about that rather violent post yesterday. Let me explain my frustration...
Yesterday i took a test in my Differential Equations class. Keep in mind that on the homeworks i have gotten an 11/15, 13/15 and the rest have been 15/15 (approximately 4). So its needless to say that i feel competant and as if i understand the material very well. However, when we sit down and recieve the test there are a few things that are important to see. One is that there are only 3 questions (with two part within each one) for a total of 36 points. Of the three, one is of a topic we did one homework problem on and the other tests your ability to figure out an equation from what is given (which was lectured but we never did in homework). The test didnt even cover all that we talked about....only 3 of the 9 or so topics. To top, two of the three questions required you to be able to do the first part in order to do the second, so if you can't figure the first one out you basically automatically eat 6 points.
It is extremely frustrating because he is setting us up for failure and is not giving us a chance to really show our competancy of the material. What is even more frustrating is that he gives us homework and class work that is in no way close to what the test is like. If you want me to do the hard questions...then give me those as homework. However, if you give me homework and a textbook that emphasizes one way of thinking and then test me on a completely different way, dont expect me to know it.
On top of that my housemates left me another note saying "Whoever made rice could you clean it off the stove :) " I wouldt be upset with it expect that it was all of maaaaybe 10 pieces of rice. I didnt even need a sponge to take it off. Its just getting very frustrating. I getting so sick of people and this house. I just want to finish this semester and enjoy the summer. I've deserved a good relaxing summer.
Sorry for making anybody worry or upset...i just needed to get it off of my chest yesterday and let it go. Thanks for your concern though
- Mood:
stressed - Music:Chris Tomlin - You're The One
GRRRRR!!!!! I HATE TODAY....fucking bullshit happening all day
dont worry...Just a bad day...I'll be fine tonight/tomorrow
- Mood: angry
So much is happening right now. Academically i have two long term writing assignments for my psychology classes and a test tomorrow in my math class. I also have my last test in Adolescent Development coming up at the end of the month. Work until the very last moment i suppose!
I'm excited to be finished with this semester. I have so many things to look forward to after this semester. An awesome summer with my hunny and my best friends in the world, another camping trip i hope, Carnegie Hall, and just time to relax a bit. I haven't slept past 9 in so long. I've had a few moments when I've been able to sleep a little bit longer but I am definitely working on a sleep deficit about as large as our national debt.
What's worse is I have had not one moment to myself to go outside and enjoy the weather. I'm so envious of everyone who doesnt have to work or has all the work that i have to do. I hope sometime this week i will be able to relax in the sun a little bit - maybe at Jay's house.
Speaking of which, I cannot wait to go to Jay's home for Easter Break. I miss his family sooooo much! I've only been able to spend a tiny bit of time with Jeremiah and an even smaller amount with Josh and Moriah. As for Jay's parents....I haven't seen or talked to them since Christmas! haha! I haven't seen the day care kids since last thanksgiving but more like summer really. I love those kids. I hope i can play with them for a little bit while I'm there. I just hope the "throwing poop" stage has been overcome! haha! I could use a visit to the Gagnon's without having some sort of disater happen (last time it was throw up by the baby....all the way down my shirt...yeaaaah)
I'm so happy...I just cant wait to relax a little bit more so i dont go insane. I'm just so excited for everything that is happening i can't wait for it all to be here!
- Mood: excited
- Music:Hoobastank - Pieces
Jay and I are moving in together.
Yeah....crazy huh? I found out for certain this morning and it still hasnt sunk in because I've been so busy, but we are doing it. Hopefully we can have a third roommate because the place is huge if its just Jay and I but whatever happens, happens. I'm very happy. I had to break it to my housemates which i felt really bad about but there's nothing i can do about it. No matter what happens, someone gets hurt.
I'm excited...i will be more so once all this stress is relieved (ie getting up schedule for the week : tomorrow-8:45, W-7, R-8:15, F-8:45, Sat-7)
I'll post soon with more
- Mood:
exhausted - Music:Adam Pascal / Rosario Dawson - Light My Candle
For instance, this one girl consistantly calls out. Every single snow day that i have worked and gotten myself shoveled out she has called in saying she cant come in due to the snow. We ALL have to shovel and get here...so can you. It doesnt help that the schedule is never staffed right and so when she calls out i end up having to work extra, with no break, and have to do three peoples jobs because it is understaffed already and she calls out.
I'm hoping to find some sort of full time job or intership this summer so i only have to work part time at eckerds. I just can not deal with this bullshit - im too good of a worker to have to.
We'll see whats up...on another note - Jays gonna be here soon!!! =* =D
- Mood: energized
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